THE NIGHT WATCHMEN - THE HALLOWEEN HORRORS COLLECTION

By Guest Reviewer The Creepy Concierge

Bloody, bawdy and funny, THE NIGHT WATCHMEN (2017) directed by Mitchell Altieri (April Fool’s Day, the remake) feels like someone decided to make a Horror Pizza and just couldn’t stop himself from adding another topping. As long as it was red.

As the title suggests three inept and clearly underqualified Night Watchmen Ken Arnold (The Looming Tower), Dan De Luca (The Wire), Kevin Jiggetts (Concussion) hook up with a tabloid journalist and find themselves on the wrong end of something deeply unpleasant when their workplace is overrun by vampires. Pointy teeth and sharp fingernails show up at every turn and an entire city, Baltimore in point of fact, could very well find the streets running a sticky shade of blood red if they’re not up to that task. And it’s touch and go whether they are. Will they save the day…maybe, maybe not  ….

Funny, gory, thrilling in equal measure, it doesn’t shy away from classic horror tropes. There’s a sprinkling of nudity thrown in for good measure if you’re missing the Hammer Glamour days when a newly permissive 1970’s film scene made that sort of thing the order of the day. The Production generally rises above its low budget origins, the Cinematography is rich and dense with healthy black shadow levels that hint at just the right amount of unknown terror hiding in the darkness. Production design, though limited by location, feels real and convinces that this really could happen to any work-a-day Joe or Joanne. And of course, there are buckets and buckets of blood, some truly inventive prosthetic work and a good amount of gunfire and screaming. And did I mention the blood?

Is it funny? Yes. Is it scary? Sort of. Is it worth a watch? Absolutely, yes. Not least of all because there are a couple of good jump scares and it's really quite charming and deliberately dopey vibe. This reviewer greatly enjoyed the unbridled anarchy of it all and a shout out must be given to all cast and crew for embracing and running with the pure unadulterated genre clichés it trots out over its brisk runtime. The Night Watchmen, simply put, is a fun ride full of vim, vigour and vitality and it does what it says it’s going to do on the tin and nothing more. Is it a classic? No. Does it do the job it intends to? Yes. And then some. And there is a vampire clown to boot. Give it a whirl - especially if you like your Horror movies fast-food flavoured. With extra ketchup of course.

THE NIGHT WATCHMEN is free to watch, right here The Night Watchmen, as part of the HALLOWEEN HORRORS collection on w4free.com.